I decided to document the way my weight fluctuated over the course of the later part of my high school years and the early part of my college years, before I found a way to feel good about myself and stay fit and healthy, while maintaining a healthy weight.
I was probably the heaviest I have ever been during my sophomore year of college. I didn’t gain the Freshman 15, but I did put on some weight. I would say I was in the low 140s, possibly as high as 145, which on my 5′ 5.5″ frame, meant I was fairly chubby.
In high school, I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. My mom knew everyone in the family loved desserts so every weekend she would make some type of sweet for all of us to enjoy. Furthermore, it always seemed to be someone’s birthday in school, or some celebration so there was always leftover cake in the lounges that we students devoured. The thing was, in high school I was on the swim team and swam intensely for an hour every day, so anything I ate was quickly burned off.
Once I started college, I stopped swimming competitively but continued eating poorly. In the fall, I was good about it, conscious of the fact that I was no longer swimming and had to be careful about what I ate. But with Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and Valentines Day, I ate more and more sweets and before I realized it, I could no longer fit into the jeans I wore freshman year and had to go a size up.
All of this time, I didn’t entirely realize I had put on weight. I just assumed my jeans had shrunk in the wash. My mom would always remark about how skinny I was when I came home for break, so I never felt the need to watch my weight. I maintained that weight in probably the upper 130s, lower 140s, for all of sophomore year. Junior year, however, was a different story.
I remember coming home for Christmas after the first semester of junior year and my friend from high school came over to hang out.
“You’ve lost so much weight!” she exclaimed. “How did you do it?”
It wasn’t the first time I had been told that. In the past month, five other people I knew had told me the exact same thing, including my boss, who I had worked for the entire summer, plus that fall semester. So he had seen me every week, but still noticed the drop in weight. But I hadn’t.
“Oh, I guess it was because I didn’t eat,” I told her.
It was true. I was studying abroad the coming semester and as a result, the semester I had just finished had been extremely stressful. I had taken three of the hardest classes in my major at once and spent many nights staying up well past midnight to finish projects. Because I was constantly at my computer working, I hadn’t had time to eat anything and by the time I was finished with my work for the day, all the dining halls were already closed. So I would either go back to my room and have a bowl of cereal, or just be so tired I would just go to sleep. All I ate were quick snacks between classes, and most of the time I was too stressed out to even feel hungry. I was also too stressed to realize I wasn’t eating. Looking back my hunger was probably a factor that contributed to my increased stress. It was an incredibly unhealthy semester, and while my extra weight practically fell off, I would never do this intentionally as a way to lose weight.
Second semester junior year, I was abroad in Japan and again eating whatever I wanted to experience all the local cuisine. The Japanese are extremely healthy, but in Japan there has recently been an increase in unhealthy foods that most Japanese find unappealing, but are popular with tourists. I was particularly fond of the cute parfaits, especially ones shaped like animals. I also made a few trips to an all-you-can-eat cake restaurant, called Sweets Paradise. Luckily, I walked and rode my bike a LOT, so my weight stayed pretty stable. I only weighed myself once while there, on a kilogram scale, but converted it and found I was about 134 lbs.
FINALLY in my senior year things began to change for the better. Over the summer, during my internship back in the United States, I went hiking every weekend because I love to hike and I wanted to take advantage of my time in the Blue Ridge Mountains. I became pretty fit and by the end of the summer I could do a typical four mile trail up to the top of the mountain without having to stop to take any breaks. At one point, when my sister was visiting, she commented on how muscular my legs had become.
I was therefore in the perfect shape that fall for when my friends and I decided to embark on an overnight hiking trip one weekend. We hiked 12 miles over the course of two days, all the while carrying about 30 pounds on our back. It was so much fun, being surrounded by nature and good company, plus the excitement and calm that comes with going off the grid for a weekend. By the end of the trip, my muscles were sore, I had bruises from the backpack I’d worn, and I felt like I had lost five pounds. I looked fitter and thinner, as well, but more importantly, I felt GREAT! The trip left me with a sort of high, that I could do fun things like that, plus stay fit and lose weight. It was a win-win  all around. That fall, I also went rock climbing at the local gym and joined a caving expedition, spending a day getting muddy crawling through and around rock formations in a local cave.Friends commented on how active I was and how jealous they were of all the fun things I was doing.
That semester I was taking the absolute hardest class in my major that terrified students. I wanted to do well in it, so I worked extremely hard and soon no longer had time for my active adventures. I had signed up for the ColorMeRad 5k because it was something I had always wanted to do. After running in it, I started jogging whenever I had free time as a way to relieve stress. Soon, it became an addiction. During finals, I was so stressed, that in between studying every day, I’d rush out of the house and run through the snow and ice with my ear muff headphones, because even though it was freezing outside, I craved the fresh air and the endorphins I got from exercise. I started watching what I ate as well, worrying that anything unhealthy would put back all the weight I was losing by exercising. So whenever I would eat a cookie or some candy, I would go run around campus to punish myself.
Thankfully this “punishing myself” didn’t last long, because soon it was Christmas and I went home, and when I am home, I never go jogging. No one in my family jogs, and they would look at me like I was crazy if I did, so I don’t do it at home. I was still fairly active, hiking occasionally, and spending a week skiing. I found that the increase in exercise, for some reason, made me crave sugar less. I started feeling disgusted by the amount I had eaten back in high school, and knew I could never eat like that again.  I didn’t feel the same comfort or enjoyment in eating a donut or a piece of cake that I had then. It just felt like something I would have to work off later, and that thought overruled the desire to taste it. Also, I found the first bite was enough to satiate any craving I had for the food, and any bite after that just put more fat and unhealthy toxins into my system.
Back at school for my final semester, my classes were not as rigorous and I had more time to spend with friends. I found out one of my friends swam twice a week at the gym on campus before the class we had together. So I joined him biweekly for the entire semester, and he served as my motivation to get back into swimming. I started noticing muscle definitions appearing on my stomach that I’d never seen before, and this drove me to swim faster and longer sessions. I weighed myself outside the locker room one day and found my weight had dropped to 127 lbs! I had lost SEVEN pounds since studying abroad. By the end of the semester I would lose another two pounds and reach 125.
I also began eating dinner at my boyfriend at the time’s apartment quite often. He cooked very healthily, and ate a Japanese diet of lean meats, rice, and vegetables. He was also very active, so most of the time we spent together was doing something active like hiking, walking, or biking. After I graduated and moved away and we broke up, I missed his cooking, so began to cook similar things as to what he had made for me. I became even more active now that I worked full time and had every evening and weekends free. Now, I rock climb every week, stand up paddle board, hike, play ultimate frisbee, and occasionally play soccer and kickball. I also travel when I have the time, and am always hiking and exploring in whatever countries I visit. I recently saw a friend from when I studied abroad while he was visiting the United States, and he told me, incredulously, how I looked so thin and had lost so much weight! He squeezed my arms, telling me they were so skinny now. In addition, many people have seen my pictures online and told me how jealous they are of my active life and how it looks so fun. And my coworkers describe me as the most active person they know. I have found that being active keeps me happy and most of the time, stress-free. It also keeps me in shape so that I no longer worry about my weight.
If I spend a week at home, eating all the desserts my mom makes, I don’t freak out about it, because I know soon I will be back to my normal lifestyle and whatever weight I gained will just slide right off again without me noticing. I continue to eat well, but also occasionally eat an entire box of pocky in one sitting. The important thing is, I don’t beat myself up about it, and just make sure I don’t make it into a habit. I don’t own a scale, but my last known weight, about six months ago, was 122 lbs. I probably dropped a few more after that. Then over Thanksgiving and Christmas I ate like crazy and gained some back to the point where I noticed it. I didn’t let it get to me, though, just went right back to my usual rock climbing, hiking, and occasional running outside. Now, my body looks just as it did at the last time I weighed myself, and the important thing is that I am happy with it.
So find some exertive activity that is fun for you, whether it be hiking, rock climbing, or whatever. Something that is so enjoyable for you that it becomes addicting, and you would do it all the time if you didn’t have real life responsibilities. Then, you won’t be stressing about weight loss when all your focus is on this new activity and the good time you’re having. Your weight will start falling off without you noticing, I guarantee it! Also, if you start rock climbing or a similar sport that works your core, your abs and back muscles will become more defined and that will motivate you to keep going and push harder.
With the increase in physical activity and decreased stress, you will find a decrease in your cravings for unhealthy food as well, and soon it will be easy to cut out sweets entirely. There are days when I can’t even remember the last time I ate dessert.
Another vital thing in my journey is that, for the most part, I never fretted too much about losing weight. There were times where I decided I wanted to lose some weight and tried using “My Fitness Pal” to track my calories consumed and “Run Keeper” to track my calories burned. But eventually, my motivation would decline and I’d forget to keep track, or any cheat days I had would make me hate myself and feel like losing weight was impossible. The only time I made progress was when I wasn’t focusing on losing weight. It was when I was doing fun things that also worked my body and eating good foods that helped my body, instead of harmed it. Then I wouldn’t notice that I had lost weight until others commented or my clothes became looser. It’s not healthy to obsess about weight loss, so please try to focus on keeping yourself healthy and happy instead and I promise you will be rewarded!
The Outdoorsy Life 